My experience

No spanking can wash away years of betrayal. In my case I'd already decided to break off with boyfriend #2 and go back to boyfriend #1 and I didn't feel any particular guilt release was necessary.

People are just more complicated than that. For a while, my love was out of it..not interested in spanking or sex or anything, because of some meds he was on. One night, he refused to even give me a reassuring hug because "it didn't feel real to him."

That made me feel very hurt and I began retaliating verbally. Told him I needed a sub because then at least I would get my needs met. He didn't like this, was seething inside, but didn't say anything.

Finally one night he was up to playing. I could sense an edge. You just know when someone is angry. So I said, all right then, make it real if you are really mad at me. And he did. All the anger and hurt came out, on both sides. Magical, right?

No. The episode wasn't over because he was still on those meds. So his indifference continued. I'd felt a little reassured at the time but then the bad feelings came creeping back. Spanking cannot solve complex problems between people. I just don't buy that.

Fortunately, he went off the meds and is back to his lovely self, and no further problems. But the spanking gave momentary relief and that is all.